Friday, September 25, 2020
Mary Lou (Rightmeier) Feasel memories
Aunt Mary Lou was very thoughtful and loving. She was neither oldest nor youngest in her family, a devoted mother and a loving spouse. I loved her so much, as I know many if not all of you did.
Aunt Mary Lou and Aunt Shirley set a high bar for what it means to be an “Aunt.” They were focused on their families, but also our extended family. Several times a year the families of Shirley, Mary Lou, Larry and Aunt Leona gathered at Leonard and Emily’s house for the holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day and July 4th as well as other special occasions.
Although Aunt Shirley and my Dad, Larry were in Boise and the rest of the family were in and around Ontario 75 miles away, we were close. Gathering planning included the children as it was possible; there was great food and good conversations in pretty small spaces! As Larry’s older sisters, Mary Lou and Shirley Belle shared recipes with Pat (my Mom), as well as advice, news and jokes. It seems like everyone was always having a good time!
Here is an example of how thoughtful Aunt Mary Lou and Uncle Bob were. I “remember” the Christmas of 1967 (I was 2 and my brother Brent was 4) only through photos and because Uncle Bob had a tape recorder and was recording people telling stories or responding to questions, like a reporter. I had recently learned “The Night Before Christmas” and Uncle Bob wanted to hear me recite it. Full disclosure: I had a lisp and wasn’t a big talker. Today I have a precious recording of this because Aunt Mary Lou made and sent a copy so I can hear my young self.
Like Grandma Emily had, Aunt Mary Lou wanted to do things with us and tell us family stories. As an adolescent, I was a bit more difficult at gatherings. But with Aunt Mary Lou and Uncle Bob it was difficult to be bored, they had a number of varied and fun activities ready: games, crafts, movies, books, the piano and deftly able to start conversations, telling funny (and punny) jokes and asking good questions. And she would play with us kids!
This thoughtful planning continued into visits after David and I married, moved away—and had young daughters Jocelyn and Madeleine—coming back to visit each year. They brought out dominoes to play and Uncle Bob would sing for us while Aunt Mary Lou accompanied on piano. After Madeleine learned to play piano they would ask her to play for them.
They were such a great team! They would tell stories together, finishing each other’s sentences. As you all know, both of them had a wonderful sense of humor. They really suited one another. Both were patient and caring in every encounter I ever had with them. Aunt Mary Lou performed every task with a smile and they were both clear that they were very thankful for all of their many blessings.
David and I moved to Ohio in 1988 but always looked forward to seeing Aunt Mary Lou and Uncle Bob on our trips “out west”. Whenever we wrote a letter or card, maybe to send pictures, we would get a reply and a handwritten note from each of them. These notes might be telling a joke, reporting the weather or what happened but they both wrote great letters. They clearly enjoyed getting mail and so did I.
A particular treat was seeing Mary Lou and Bob in Kansas at the Rightmeier family reunion in June 2004 (we drove from Ohio). They took Amtrak out from Boise, and told somewhat fretful stories of strange persons encountered on the train at night along the way; I doubt they rode the train again, but we are so thankful that they came! What a wonderful time we had in Jewell and Republic counties with the reunion. Many of the treasured older generation are no longer with us.
David and I were happy to see Aunt Mary Lou a year ago (April 2019) when we were visiting. Gary accompanied us to the nursing home and we are very happy to have been able to see her and him then. Even as her memories were slipping away, her lovely demeanor remained. She was warm and friendly. We are so thankful for knowing her and having the blessing of sharing so much time with her. I wish we could be with those who are gathering to remember her on Sunday and am writing these thoughts and memories in hopes that you know that we are also celebrating her life.
With love,
Mona and David Connolly